RELAX ~ don't say it .......

Do It several times a day

• Sit upright with your hands clasped behind your head.

Gently pull your elbows back as far as you can hold them in position

ANGER AND STRESS (& sex) USE THE SAME AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM PATHWAYS. Pay attention to your body! So that you can always be in control.

• Eat little and often – learn to watch and pay attention to what your body is saying. Even fill in a ‘body clock’ to chart mood and physicality.
• Smoking is supposed to calm the nerves, but researchers have found evidence that it might have the opposite effect.
• The body will have a transition at roughly 4:00am and 4:00pm – learn to nurture at those times.
• Remember that most people have panic/anxiety attacks when they are NOT stressed and when the crisis is over.
• Each day stop and breathe several times. In breathe to the count of five (tensing your whole body gradually - finishing with tensing your shoulders) and then as you exhale to the count of five let your body relax down and outwards towards the tips of the fingers and toes.
• If you think you have a task that is worrisome -- work out the steps beforehand. Then you are “chunking" it into manageable proportions that are not as stressful.
• If you feel like you are going to stress out.... stop, shut everything down, breath and stretch, put your hands behind your head.... then think about what you want to do and go back to it.
• Remember; work at a task in manageable 'bites' of around twenty minutes. Then stop, do something else or look up and away from the task, before returning. This means that you are rolling WITH your attention and learning curve instead of getting stuck on the plateau.
• When your mind wanders to something that provokes anxiety – write it down and then defer dealing with it until a specific time later in the day. Write a short phrase – not a journal! Normally come back to your short list at a time when you are distracted, for example watching television, and can look at the issues without stressing out. Do not try for solutions - let your mind percolate naturally and with a night's rest you will find things easier the next day.
• Don't stress about sleep - rest can be enough. Let your body do the 'talking'.
• Describe your physical sensations both to yourself and to someone who is trying to help. Feeling anxious or panicked is about the body not the mind. So validate the sensations and that means that the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are lessened by treating this as something that will eventually be managed.
• Eat something carbohydrate at 4:00pm with some liquid - even when you are off work
• put hands behind head in a basket to disable chest wall muscles and calm down anxiety - several times a day. Simple chair stretching helps.
• Change task every twenty or thirty minutes - this can mean just stop and look up and straighten your back but preferably do the hands as a basket exercise.
• Try not to drink cold milk after 6:00pm. Warm milk releases tryptophan which is a natural ‘de-compressant’.
• think of " anxiety " as physiological stress not paranoia/ in your head
• at night take a shower and then stretch in the shower
• Clench your body and breathe in to the count of five, then hold for one and breathe out for the count of five relaxing the muscles out towards your finger tips and toes. Do this several times a day.
• SING in the car to music
• Each night have ten minutes quiet time and DOODLE - teach the kids to do this too.... - take a half hour to unwind some time in the evening.
• MINDFULNESS:

Anxiety normally starts to peak about half an hour after you get up. Anticipate it by doing some simple breathing exercises.

Mindfulness is about being in the 'now': being present in this body, at this time, doing this thing. It has a quiet, unassuming and unobtrusive nature. It is also non-judgmental and not characterized by emotional reactions. It is often linked with compassion¹.

The simplest form of mindfulness, which can be practiced very easily without anyone noticing, is to focus on the breath for three inhalations and exhalations. Some people do this hourly. It involves taking in a deliberate breath and noticing the quality of the air as it enters the body through the nostrils and making its way to the lungs. Then, when exhaling, you focus on the air as it leaves your body.

It's worth taking a look at the way you breathe. Most people breathe quite shallowly, using only the top part of their lungs. For the purposes of mindfulness breathing, you should use the whole of your capacity. This means inflating the bottom part first, which can be done by allowing your belly to swell (a bit like a balloon). Next, fill the mid-section by expanding your ribs sideways. Finally fill the top part of your lungs.

If you are sitting down, you can augment this by noticing the feel of the chair underneath your buttocks and the ground on your feet.

This practice will bring you back to the present moment and is very grounding.