"I knew Rita was my sister," he says now. "I didn't choose to fall in love with her, or expect to feel sexual desire. It just happened. Even in front of my wife, I made no attempt to hide my adoration, I just buzzed whenever she was around. It was as if no one else existed. The two biggest mistakes I made were deluding myself that I could become all-important in her life, a brother and a surrogate lover, even though she didn't desire me, and then believing I could control and resolve the problem by myself."
This is a genuine situation and the people caught up in this have very complicated emotions.
That awareness has led New York psychotherapist Joe Soll to adopt the term "genetic attraction", believing the word "sexual" is in many cases inaccurate and also responsible for the underlying shame and fear that make the condition so distressing. He has noticed that the "romance" that develops, especially when mothers meet their adult children, mirrors the sensuous bonding between a new mother and her baby. "These people regress to an earlier stage of development. The relationship is sensual, but we don't call it 'romance' or being 'in love' when it's breastfeeding, cradling and stroking, or when it's a mother and baby gazing into one another's eyes. Often, people tell me all they want to do is snuggle up together. There's an urge for intimacy, which they were previously denied."
This isn't fiction; in the age of the sperm donor, it's a growing reality: 50% of reunions between siblings, or parents and offspring, separated at birth or in life, result in obsessive emotions. Should we criminalise a bond hardwired into our biology and psychology?
This writer has no interest in this issue other than it exists and causes great pain to real people in real relationships.
You may care to follow up with:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/incest
http://www.gsaforums.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect
Sunday, March 11, 2018
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